Starting over again after a major loss is never, easy at any age. You lose a parent, the loss of a bit of your identity as a person, whether you're a child or an adult. We have the loss of fortunes, the loss of friends, the loss of the use of a body part. The list is virtually eternal. No matter the loss, you have to redefine, reassess, and take action, and that's never a simple or an easy thing, as I mentioned before.
How about the loss of time? Now, there's a diamond-hard nut to crack. The loss of time is not something you can make up for, but we can start over again.
Over the last three years, I've had to endure several losses that happened in quick succession. I am currently starting over again from a dead stop. This means re-identifying myself and my life's path, re-assessing my goals and what I value in this life. Where do I want to live and how I want to live? The list, once again, is virtually eternal.
Now, at face value, there seems to be nowhere to go.
However, as I look slightly deeper, I'm seeing a planet-load of massive opportunities! I can go anywhere from here! I might be in my early 50's, but I'm not broken. I'm losing weight, my belly has gone down quite a bit, and I'm working on shrinking that body part even more. I've started a business based on my talents, likes, and dislikes, and I'm beginning to be recognized for it! The adage, "The problem is not the problem, it's your attitude toward the problem. That's the problem," is coming to life for me!
Here's what I'm learning this time around.
Go through that feeling of loss, embarrassment, sadness, and anger. Don't skip it. But don't stay there. That last part takes some deliberate discipline. It's going to take continuous effort and time to displace that feeling of loss. Oh, it will never really go away. Once a thought is emotionally implanted in your brain, it's impossible to dislodge, so the best thing you can do is to displace it like a steel ship in the ocean. If you have the money, get yourself a good analyst. They are a big help at a time like this. But if, like me, you can't afford one, write. Go for a long walk. Go for a long run. Exercise. You'll need to move, both in your head and in your body.
In times of crisis, we need to exercise our will to see opportunities for improvement. We may have to look at the face of a negative time in our lives, but learn to face it like a New Yorker and focus past it.
Thanks for listening.
